“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
~Dorothy, “The Wizard of Oz”
After several months of hearing, “You’ve lost weight! You look great!”, we notice that no one is saying anything anymore. We’re getting “that look” again from a family member when we eat something that they think is a “bad” food. And we realize that our undies (that are fitting tighter recently) didn’t shrink in the dryer.
We come to understand that the lost weight has been found. And now, we not only have to buy new undies, but we also have to figure out what happened and what to do next.
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Sadly, our usual reaction is to blame ourselves, to say that we lack willpower and that we’re lazy. “If I had just controlled myself.” “No wonder I gained the weight back; I ate all the ‘wrong’ foods.”
What if, instead of blaming and shaming ourselves, we considered some of the real reasons we gained back the weight? Tuning into what really prompted our weight regain can help us know what to do next to take care of ourselves.
Perhaps we were distracted and disconnected from our body’s fullness signals because we had an illness or injury. Or maybe it was because we had to spend more time taking care of others’ needs. Or possibly, our eating became less mindful when our work, rest, and play got out of balance.
Maybe we had lost the weight by dieting and depriving ourselves. After walking around hungry and avoiding certain foods, our longings and our body’s needs may have inevitably resulted in an uncomfortable eating episode of “forbidden” foods. And then all-or-nothing thinking and actions took over. “I already blew it, so I may as well . . . .”
Or possibly, we were at our natural weight before we lost the weight. But because of bad body fever, or even a physician’s recommendation, we lost weight to a point below where our body wanted to be. And inevitably, our smart, self-regulating body would not allow us to stay there.
Or maybe, while trying to cope with a loss or a depleting crisis, instead of shutting down, or “losing it,” or using alcohol, we used food to get us through. It comforted us and fueled us. It was the only reliable, good thing in our life at the time.
When we take the time to reflect on the real reasons we’ve gained back the weight, we realize that dieting, deprivation, and self-denigration are not the answer. By understanding and honoring these reasons, we are able to move forward more easily, responding wisely to what’s really needed, and finally leaving our lost and found weight experiences behind.
Tip: Think back to the last time you lost weight and then gained it back. With compassion and curiosity, consider what the real reasons were for gaining back the weight.
Affirming Statement: “Aware of the real reasons for gaining back the weight, I step off the weight roller coaster, and I know what to do next.”
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Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com
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