Have you ever reflected on what clothes and dressing mean to you?
What motivates you to wear what you wear?
Why you avoid wearing particular styles, colors or patterns?
How different clothes inspire different movements, moods, feelings or states?
Have you ever considered bending or even eliminating the limitations or rules about what is appropriate (or not appropriate)?
My daughter’s relationships with clothes emerged at a very young age: around two years old. She would mix and match patterns, colors, sets of outfits, socks and clothes. At one point she refused to wear anything that matched, including socks. I watched her with a sense of curiosity and wonder.
I often received comments and sometimes complaints about what she wore. I remember hearing things like: “Why do you let her dress like that?” or “You let her out of the house like that?”
“Was I acting as an irresponsible mommy allowing my daughter too much freedom and control,” I asked myself many times.
I reflected on these comments as I observed my daughter’s process. Clothes were an expression of creativity for her. She explored herself and the world through her clothing. It was a pleasure [private_membership circle]and a treat to watch her put things together. Some days she would change her outfits multiple times. This was not because she felt bad, too large, uncomfortable or self conscious. The dressing of her body became an art project; one of exploration and experimentation. She experienced pleasure in color, texture, pattern and style. Her body and self became her canvas to ornament, adorn and collage.
WOW. Body art, beauty and play.
My daughter is about to turn 16 years old. I continue to be in awe of her as I witness her play with color, pattern, texture and style. Just the other day she decided that one of her tops needs to be altered so she cut it so that it would be the length she desired. No sewing necessary for this gal and she looked beautiful and better than that she felt beautiful.
So shall we visit our closets and explore the what and why of our wardrobe. Shall we agree to break some “rules” and explore clothes as a body art and self expression?
Let me know what you learn.
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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a certified Nia Instructor, Movement Therapist, Center for Eating Disorders, Director of Mindful Movement Studio, Ann Arbor, MI, 734-395-2624, robinokun@gmail.com
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