Sometimes, someone shares a story with me during a session and the details stick in my head all day. This was one of those times…maybe because I’ve eaten my share of both “freezer cake” and open packages of food I’d previously thrown away. But I think, mostly, it was because I admired my client’s unflinching willingness to look back at a binge, without judgment, and to learn from the experience.
Also, this story clearly illustrated what I tell binge eaters who are considering Weight Loss Surgery…or have already had it and are disappointed because they are still struggling with emotional eating. Weight loss surgery changes how much you can eat at one time, but not the need to use food to manage [private_membership circle]uncomfortable feelings.
I asked if she would share her experience with our Circle Members. Here’s her story.
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“Since my weight-loss surgery I have been trying new activities, as my physical fitness has been increasing. Recently I decided to fulfill a bit of a dream and take cross-country skiing lessons. I was excited about the lesson. But as the first day got closer, I started feeling very anxious. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up and I would embarrass myself in front of the former Olympian who was going to be my ski instructor.
Next thing I knew I found myself in the freezer eating left-over ‘freezer cake’. I called my husband and told him I was struggling with the cake I found in the freezer. He said, “Did you throw it away?” “No”, I said.
When he got home, he asked me if I wanted him to throw the cake away. I hesitated. Was my intention to keep eating it? He said, “Let’s throw it away.” Into the kitchen garbage went the freezer cake.
The second he went out to walk the dogs, I’m retrieving the cake from the garbage. I saw him throw it away so I knew it was still wrapped in plastic and in a freezer bag. I’m thinking, ‘I don’t have to take responsibility for this. If my husband had thrown it away properly, not still wrapped up, I wouldn’t be eating it now.’
Looking back on it, I realize when I do this I’m actually shaming myself. If I really wanted to eat a nice piece of cake, I could have gotten my husband, gotten in the car, and driven to a coffee shop to get a nice piece of cake and a cup of coffee. I don’t have to be ashamed and eat freezer cake from the garbage.
Looking back on it, I know this was not about cake. I also know that while the surgery has helped me lose weight I still sometimes struggle with self-soothing with food.”
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Because she was willing to look back on this experience with unflinching honesty, she found there was a gift in that freezer; insight she can use, if she chooses to, to avoid future binges.
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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in emotional and binge eating issues. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com
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