“War requires at least two sides. When you decide that you will listen to yourself and not to your calorie counter or your fears, there is nothing to rebel against. There is nothing you can’t have tomorrow so there is no reason to eat it all today.” ~ Geneen Roth, Breaking Free
“Women seldom, or rather never, for a length of time and deliberately, rebel against anything that does not deserve rebelling against.” ~ Thomas Carlyle
Many believe life is easier if we just follow the food rules—eat what we are told, when we are told, in the portions we are told. In fact, diets and the food police affirm that we cannot be trusted to handle our own food; that we are not capable of making up our own minds or having control over our eating. And so we need their rules.
We follow these rules initially because we have been told that in order to be healthy and attractive, we must follow them. We are told that these rules are the “solution” for our unhappiness with our bodies.
But these very rules end up making us feel out of control. Before our first diets, we rarely suffered from “deprivation-driven” eating. But after we began dieting, we developed intense food cravings and food preoccupation—[private_membership circle] and possibly bingeing and weight gain. No one tells us that dieting causes these things, so it’s no wonder that when the diet fails us, we still believe that certainly more food rules will help.
We find the food rules becoming increasingly stringent and ourselves becoming more fearful that there is no alternative.
But there is something else going on that makes this feel even scarier—we each have a deeper knowing self that rebels against these food rules. This rebel self hates the imposed rules, hates the constraint, and hates the disrespect of these simplistic solutions. This rebel self knows that these rules are based on false “facts” presented as truths, and our rebel self is insulted that these rules are not connected to our true needs. This rebel self is tired of the disrespect implied in statements like “The problem is the food, so just follow this diet, and that’ll fix everything.” The rebel self will rebel. “This is not what I need. I don’t want to do this. I’m not going to do it. In fact, I’m going to do the opposite.”
This rebel self, which often feels destructive, is actually in tune with our internal guidance systems. This rebel self knows—better than any diet rules, better than any professional—exactly what and how much we need to eat and when to stop. This rebel self knows that self and body trust are not only possible, but are also the only sane approach to eating. “I know I’m full now. I need to figure out how to cope with these difficult feelings without using food.”
So, although it may seem easier to be told what to do, and although the rebel self may sometimes overreact with overeating out of spite, the core of its reaction is “Don’t insult me with imposed rules.” And that is worth listening to.
Tip: This week, tune into your “gut” reactions to choices and decisions you make with food, in relationships, at work. Can you hear the rebel? What truths about your needs and feelings is the rebel declaring?
Affirming Statement: “My rebel self is wise and worth listening to.”
______________________________
Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com
[/private_membership circle]
