I am extremely fortunate to have many teachers in my life: the women I work with, my partner, son, daughter, and of course, my body.
Recently my daughter was preparing for school. I watched with keen awareness how she went about this task. Making lists, reviewing what she has and what she needs and wants.
She received a beautiful new laptop from her grandparents and she decided she wanted a beautiful case to match. She fell in love with a computer case she found on line that was pricey. I have learned the best way to gauge how much my daughter wants something is to tell her she has to pay for it herself. She approaches these decisions with more reflection and caution when she has to spend her own money. So, I informed her sweetly that she can use her gifted money for the case.
As my daughter labored over her decision [private_membership circle]listing the pros and cons ad infinitum, to me of course, her desire for the case became more and more clear. She even reiterated back to me how I navigate through life when it comes to these decisions. That is, that I would much prefer to have one beautiful item that I love and cherish than a bunch of mediocre things that I feel lukewarm about. I guess I am one of her teachers and she takes some of what I say to heart. This is a gift to me.
Anyway, when the price of the bag dropped $20 she became clear and decided she wanted to purchase the bag. As she completed the online order forms she told me she wanted to have them send her case in gift wrap (no extra charge) and did I think that was ok?
My entire body felt warm and happy as I said to her that it was more than ok. “What a great idea,” I exclaimed. That is better than ok. This is wonderful!” She was gifting something to herself. She felt deserving of a special gift and it did not matter to her that she was spending her own money. She understands and practices the concept of self love and self care. Do you?
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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a certified Nia Instructor, Movement Therapist, Center for Eating Disorders, Director of Mindful Movement Studio, Ann Arbor, MI, 734-395-2624, robinokun@gmail.com [/private_membership circle]
