At a recently attended gathering, I couldn’t help but notice the conversation regularly flowed to body comments; some personal, others toward public figures, some just global, and all, as I remember, judgmental.
My greeting hello to one guest was met by a strong gaze at my chest accompanied by the comment, “You look robust”. Robust? Really? And that means what? Is this a compliment or a judgment, and by the way, why are you commenting on my chest? A simple hello would have sufficed.[private_membership Circle]
Prologue: my daughter is home from school for summer break. As I have shared in previous blogs, she is artistic and plays with clothes and dress as a form of creative expression. I invited her into my closet; this was an intimate invitation into a body space that feels very private to me. I trust her.
My wardrobe tends to be fairly limited in quantity and style and I tend to limit it even more by wearing the same pieces I love and feel comfortable in. All good; safety and comfort in the body. This day, however, I was in the mood for something different. She pulled out a top she and I had purchased together nearly two years ago. The tags were still on. While the style was typical of the tops I wear, it was patterned with a bold black and white abstract design; extremely atypical for me. I put it on to humor my daughter and surprised myself when I liked how it felt. Sassy, bold, strong and out of my box. I decided to layer it over one of the bras she had encouraged me to experiment with. I am constantly amazed at the bra selections she brings to my naïve attention (most bras too big for her and too small for me); underwire of all kinds, athletic, relaxed, the many variations of the contemporary push-up style!
This day I opted for the contemporary push-up style which supported my “girls” in a perky fashion that seemed to fit nicely with the top and how I felt dressed in it.
Robust? Maybe.
Fun? Yep.
My choice and my body? Absolutely.
None of your business? I would say so.
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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a coach, therapist, speaker and Founder of Mindful Movement, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more about Robin at http://www.robinokun.com [/private_membership circle]
