“Feeling satisfied isn’t just about being full. It’s also about getting enough pleasure.” ~David Spero
During the holidays, we may find ourselves wanting to use food after spending time – pleasant and unpleasant – with family or friends. If we are able to pause for a moment to reflect on our experience, we may find that, despite (or because of) being in the midst of family and friends, we felt alone or invisible. Or we may feel we were taken advantage of, or possibly even traumatized. Or maybe we had a wonderful time and crave more of that good feeling.
Just as tuning into our hunger and fullness signals and food preferences before and after eating helps us to know what’s needed and how much is enough, taking time to tune into our emotional needs and wants before and after holiday gatherings helps us to know what is needed and how much is enough to take care of ourselves during these gatherings. When we use this knowledge to create self-care strategies for the next get-together, we not only lessen our need to eat emotionally, but we also increase the likelihood that we will arrive home emotionally nourished and satisfied.
Invitation: Think back to the last time you[private_membership circle] needed to use food after a holiday get-together. In what ways did the food help with your feelings? Do you know what, if not food, was needed?
Before each gathering this season, ask yourself:
Do I want and need to go to this gathering? If I don’t want to or don’t need to, is it important for me to go anyway? If it’s not important, why did I think I had to go? Can I allow myself to not go? If it is important for me to attend, what will help me get through this time?
What do I want to experience or not experience while I am there? What am I hungry for? What do I want to share? To receive?
Is what I want available from this group of people? From one person or others among the crowd? Who in this group are my safe, nourishing people?
Will someone be there who could negatively affect my experience and undermine my satisfaction? What can I do about that?
How much connection do I need and want? If I have a good time with friends or family, yet I’m hungering for more afterward, what will I do to manage those left-over feelings?
How much being polite and “nice” is enough? What do I do that is “nice” but turns into depleting selflessness?
How much helping with clean-up is enough? Listening to a draining person? Spending on gifts? How much quiet time? Pie? Alcohol? Why do I sometimes give too much to others and not give enough to myself? How much is enough? How much is too much?
Affirming Statement: “I head into the holidays with a self-care strategy that is attuned to my needs and wants.”
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Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com
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