Most of us carry beliefs about ourselves and our bodies. While these beliefs can provide safety and comfort they can also confine us in rigid patterns that do not allow experimentation and exploration leading to discoveries about our selves, bodies and lives.
I love to wear scarves. I enjoy the colors, patterns and textures of these scarves and wear them during most seasons…sometimes even in the summer to cut the cold I experience from air conditioning. I did not always wear scarves. I started experimenting with scarves following the start of a friendship with a woman who wore them. I loved how she looked and though I did not see myself as a “scarf person” I wondered if I could be. Of course I could be; anybody can!
Recently one of the women I work with brought me a scarf. It was a beautiful black scarf with glittery gold and metallic orange. She said she got it for Halloween but that she does not wear scarves and she wanted me to have it. The scarf was still in a bag. When I asked her why she did not wear scarves she lamented that scarves just aren’t her style. When I asked her if she had ever worn a scarf she said no. I wondered how she could know that scarves are not her style when this belief was a projection that had never been explored.
With her permission and a little encouragement, we wrapped her and her neck with the beautiful scarf. Her expression of fear and uncertainty immediately faded as she touched the scarf and felt its sensation on her body. A warm and radiant smile emerged on her face as she walked to the mirror and observed herself. She could not resist the feeling of comfort she actually felt adorned with the scarf.
She left our meeting with the scarf, her comfort zone expanded and an awareness that she can be a scarf person…if she wants to be.
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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a coach, therapist, speaker and Founder of Mindful Movement, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more about Robin at http://www.robinokun.com
