“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
~M. Scott Peck
The moments after we’ve “checked out” by using food provide us with an opportunity for change. Often though, these dark moments are filled with despair, body hatred, and all-or-nothing thinking. This time of year, as we transition from the slower, restorative days of summer to the faster, depleting pace of fall, it may be helpful to consider the wisdom (and the power) in these moments.
After an emotional eating episode, if we allow [private_membership circle]ourselves to compassionately reflect about what we really needed, if not food, we can enhance our ability to respond more skillfully the next time we are experiencing the difficult feelings that prompted the episode rather than react to the feelings.
We can also begin to care for ourselves differently in the moments after eating emotionally by checking in with kind words. So instead of, “I am such a failure,” we may shift to, “I’m bringing awareness to my struggles, and I am moving forward.” And instead of, “My body is disgusting,” we might acknowledge, “I feel uncomfortable in my body right now, so I am treating myself and my body with tenderness.” And, “I’ll never change” may be replaced with, “I am courageously changing how I cope and how I care for myself.” Although this compassionate self-talk may initially feel awkward and uncomfortable, it is a powerful way to let go of a negative patterns while embracing a new way of caring.
A thoughtful pause after eating emotionally offers insight into the good reasons we check out with food. Combined with curiosity, concern, and kind words, this pause provides us with an opportunity to not only change our relationship with food and our bodies, but to also change how we live our lives.
Invitation: When you have an emotional eating episode, consider checking in with yourself afterward. Think about how you might speak to a dear friend who is struggling or to a child who is upset; risk using similar words with yourself. Offer yourself kindness and understanding.
Affirming Statement: “I check in with compassion after checking out.”
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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com
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