I wish I could tell you that increasing awareness will always lead to experiences of pleasure and joy. Awareness will lead you to a life in which you are more able to know yourself and make choices that feed you and your body in healthier ways. It will also make it more possible to be present with uncomfortable feelings and states. Sometimes you may feel uncomfortable as painful feelings and sensations emerge. These are opportunities to practice. The more opportunities, the more practice you have to learn to tolerate what is really true for you, even when it is uncomfortable.
When I work with women in my studio I use [private_membership circle] music to help them activate this practice. Julie, a woman I have been working with for some time, moved with a piece of music for nearly four minutes. The music stopped and we began to talk about what she noticed. She shared with me that she did not have a clear sense of how she felt about the music. She chose to be with this lack of clarity and feeling of not knowing. This state of uncertainty and ambivalence is not one that Julie feels comfortable with and she is always doing her best to turn it off, disconnect from it or change it. When she disconnects from these feelings, she is turning off her connection to the channels of communication that will guide her in taking care of herself. She, like each of us, needs the information from feelings and sensations to understand what her body really needs and wants.
This ability to be aware of feelings and sensations and to tolerate even the most difficult ones can lead to a more intimate knowing of what your body wants; whether she is hungry for food … salty, crunchy, creamy, meaty, etc. or hungry for conversation, rest, a movie, a book, a walk … the possibilities are endless. Does this idea of endless possibilities leave you feeling excited or nervous or something else? Just notice …
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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a certified Nia Instructor, Movement Therapist, Center for Eating Disorders, Director of Mindful Movement Studio, Ann Arbor, MI, 734-395-2624, robinokun@gmail.com
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