“Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.” ~Anne Wilson Schaef
“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.” ~Ric Ocasek
It is human nature to need company, connection, empathy, understanding, and support. If our needs are not met for a period of time, we develop coping mechanisms, one of which is emotional eating. Using food for company or to calm down can be very effective for a while. But if we want to let go of emotional eating, the first step is to become aware of our needs without judging them, and the next step is compassionate self-care to meet those needs. Often, this means asking for help. That’s right—asking for help!
Asking for help is not the easiest thing to do. Acknowledging that we have certain needs is already difficult; reaching out for help can feel daunting.
Asking for help means letting someone else into our lives, admitting we cannot rely solely on ourselves. It means entering into a silent agreement with someone else, saying, essentially, [private_membership circle]“I trust you enough to show you that I have needs.”
Asking for help can bring up the fear of rejection or of looking foolish. Sometimes it seems easier to just ignore the fact that we have needs. Not asking for help can feel safe, comfortable, and uncomplicated. We can stay within our comfort zone and maintain our “I can handle this” belief.
Unfortunately, not asking for help can make things worse in the long run. We end up over-extending ourselves, trying to accomplish everything. Our health becomes compromised from too much stress and too little sleep. We miss out on the chance to experience supportive connections with others and the benefit of someone else’s perspective. And we may rely on the short-term benefit of using food to “help” with energy, stress, and comfort.
But if we can feel the fear and reach out anyway, the support and empathy we all need and deserve becomes possible. As our needs are tended to, our need for emotional eating decreases. As we ask for help and risk developing nourishing connections with others, we transform not only our relationship with ourselves and others, but with food as well. And these long-term benefits are well worth the risk.
Tip: Today, tune into your needs. Maybe you need help carrying something? Or you need to talk through a problem. Maybe you want company for your walk? Pick a need, big or small. Ask a good friend or even a stranger for help. Notice how you feel before, during, and after this risk.
Affirming Statement: “I am empowered and nourished when I ask for help.”
______________________________
Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com
[/private_membership circle]
