This was written by a woman ready to embark on the journey of recovery.
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I wish I could enjoy eating without this animosity.
However, I have this problem they call binge eating.
I get these intense feelings I can not always recognize.
But I know that if I eat, the feelings will soon subside.
Eating brings such pleasure; all my feelings set aside.
However, once the food is gone- guilt crops up from deep inside.
Wondering how I could do this to myself, I start to descend -[private_membership circle]
descend into this vicious cycle that leads me back again.
Once more I will feed this feeling all that my body can sustain.
No one can quite understand what it is that I am going through.
They tell me just to watch what I eat, that is all I have to do.
I know it is very hard to understand a food addiction.
Food is essential to life, so why wouldn’t we all have this affliction?
You see just how an alcoholic drinks to escape from their pain –
bingeing on food is my diversion, much the same.
I have come to understand that I must learn to manage these feelings.
With that, I will find peace and begin the process of healing.
Healing from the inside what can only be seen outside.
I will begin to see that it is not my size, but a matter of pride –
Pride in being who I am; not concerned with what others are seeing.
I know the journey to recovery is not an easy voyage.
However, my life is much too valuable,
so I will find the courage.
M.J.
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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in emotional and binge eating issues. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com
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