“Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.” ~ Robert Redford
Why is it that when we eat broccoli, we feel thin, virtuous, in control, and attractive? And when we eat cake, we feel fat, bad, out of control, and unattractive?
Is there something inherent in broccoli that literally causes us to feel thin or virtuous? The answer, of course, is no. We have to agree that these foods, in and of themselves, do not create these feelings.
So then it must be us. We must create these feelings. How does this work?[private_membership circle]
Maybe we’re writing a report. Next thing we know, we’re thinking about ice cream. We want ice cream. But we are still full from the lunch we ate an hour ago. We tell ourselves we can eat ice cream later, when we are hungry. Nooooo, we want it NOW! And then we think, “Oh no, I’m so weak. All I can think about is that ice cream.” We break down and go get ice cream and are now convinced, “I’m a loser, I’m horrible. I have no self-control.”
But the ice cream does not have the power to make us feel terrible; we created that feeling! If we can explore the situation with compassion and without judgment, we can discover why we feel so terrible.
So, we go back. What were we doing right before we craved ice cream? Writing a report. What were we thinking about as we worked on the report? That our boss was unclear about what she wanted in the report and that we were too afraid to ask. And now we are concerned that we might get it wrong. Hmmm, how do we feel? Inadequate. Terrible.
BUT, the ice cream rescued us! We were having disturbing thoughts and feelings that we did know how to acknowledge, let alone deal with. Our minds distracted us with thoughts of ice cream. And now we feel bad for wanting and eating ice cream. But, what happened to the original thoughts and feelings? They’re gone.
Unfortunately, when we focus on food when we feel bad, it is clear that something is wrong, but a false cause distracts us from the real one. This distraction also seems to simplify things. Now, all we need to do is make up for the ice cream calories, and all will be fixed. Never mind dealing with the original disturbing thoughts or feelings! The real cause of our uncomfortable feelings is never addressed.
What would happen if we quit blaming food? Life would definitely be difficult at first because we would have to begin facing the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings we’ve been avoiding. But in doing so, we make a more peaceful relationship with food and ourselves possible.
Tip: The next time you feel bad about the food you eat, tune in and ask yourself, “What else might I be feeling bad about?”
Affirming Statement: “When I feel bad about food and myself, I look for underlying causes.”
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Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com
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