When I welcomed back a mover, following a not too long hiatus, and asked her how she and life have been, she happily announced she had dropped seven pounds. I felt sorry that I did not offer a heartfelt congratulations but I felt like I was at a weight loss meeting and immediately felt uncomfortable. My desire is to bring into focus what there is to notice on the inside of the body rather than place attention on size and weight.
When I asked her what the change was like for her and her body, she responded with a questioning expression and then, “I don’t really know”. She said she knew she felt good in her head though. I invited her to notice her body-mind to learn more about how her body experienced this change. What does this mean to her body rather than her mind?
Later, after moving for an hour we reconnected. I noticed I continued to want her to travel inward to her body sense and get out of her head about her size and weight. I told her I was still thinking about what she said earlier and asked if could share what I was noticing inside of me, now or at a better time later. When she said now, please, I invited her to shift her focus to all the ways she has been taking care of herself. I suggested she notice how she has been feeding herself physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially and recreationally during these past weeks. What has she been doing to express love to her body and herself? I asked her not to answer now but to instead take these questions with her and make these discoveries as often as she can. I am eager for her to focus on these questions which, I feel, carry the most valuable weight in this matter.
Robin Okun, LMSW, is a coach, therapist, speaker and Founder of Mindful Movement, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more about Robin at http://www.robinokun.com